Archives for the month of: October, 2016

I have always disliked Halloween even though I’m not sure why. I never wore a costume and at Halloween parties I usually came late and left early.

But in 2009, the Mrs. (now ex) talked me into not only wearing a costume to Trump’s Mar-a-Lago Halloween party, but entering into the best costume contest. And, wouldn’t you know, we won even though I looked like a dork.

Donald was in his favorite costume – blue suit, white shirt and red silk tie. I think he spent most of his time at the party looking for big busted women wearing certain types of costumes: Nurse, Wicked Witch, Pirate, Dolly, Mexican immigrant, Miss Universe, Miss Teen Universe, Policewoman, and/or his look-a-like daughter.

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I just researched “nuts falling on tin roof and oak trees and North Carolina.” What I learned is that about every five years or so, one Oak Tree will drop 10,000 acorns.

So Sugar (my trusted Golden Retriever) and I don’t mind it too much during the day, but at night the Squirrels and other critters shake the branches of my big Oak Tree during their relentless collection process and the Acorns fall from the sky onto my tin roof.

The yard is almost entirely covered by Acorns because there are so many of them that all the creatures in the forest can’t eat them all.

A problem so I set my mind to dream during sleep about how I can stop the nuts from falling down on us. This morning I recalled my dream: Envelop my home in a tightly knitted, net dome. Leave a little space for Sugar and I to get in and out.

Now, where to find a net that big and a couple of guys to float it above the house and then figure out how to empty the Acorns onto a huge “chip” truck? And, find a sniper to take the Squirrels out, plus find more guys to blow the nuts into a huge nut mound?

Well, on second thought, I think I will just turn the TV sound up so that the 24/7 coverage of Trump going nuts will drown out the machine gun of Acorns falling on tin. The only problem though is that Sugar and I could end up nuttier than Trump and then I have to find someone to come over and apply psychiatric healing. Also, check our ears.

Enough Walter Mitty stuff! Sugar and I know that sooner or later Mother Nature will end the Acorn Storm. And, at the same time, we would appreciate if she can stop Trump.

Hey, I got it! We’ll bury him under a gigantic Acorn pile. I can just hear him under the pile and with a muffled voice claiming “This is the most fantastic Acorn Hill ever built by man and I’m the only person on the planet who could have done this. But, I’m not really under this pile of nuts. It’s a pile of nuts created by the Mexican Acorn Cartel.”

I was sitting alone at a table to get a bit of a rest while covering a charity fundraising gala at the Mar-a-Lago Club, when Donald and Melania strolled by.

Trump, with a smile on his face, said: “What’s the king of Palm Beach doing sitting there alone?” Melania gave me that sort of half queen-like smile and they continued their stroll around the ballroom talking to people. His tone was light.

I didn’t know what to say to him as I had no idea why he said what he said. I was the publisher of Palm Beach Today and through about nine years, Trump and I saw each other frequently at events. I never had any problems with him, but “king?”

The other day, six years after I sold my interest in Palm Beach Today,  I was filing some old clips and photos and there it was! A tabloid in Palm Beach wrote a story about the “media wars” in Palm Beach and wrote: “There is a new king of media in Palm Beach …..”

I’ve been called a lot of things in my journalism career since sixth grade, but never “king.”

The article was referring to the war between my newspaper and magazine and the Palm Beach Daily News, the 100-year-old newspaper icon on the island. Because of a slight tinge of glossy in their news print they called themselves “The Shiny Sheet.” It was and still is the leading society newspaper in the world.

“The Shiny Sheet” did not like the fact that I was strongly competing with them so they went under ground and began telling socialites in town that if they allowed Palm Beach Today to cover their charity events, they wouldn’t put their pictures in their paper.

The town was split between socialites who loved Palm Beach Today and the idea that the “Shiny Sheet” had competition. Socialites who didn’t want to tick off the established paper kept their distance.

I fueled the split when I began describing my paper as “Shinier Than Shiny.” Actually it was as I began printing my broad sheet on high gloss stock which was unheard of in the publishing world.

Now that I have experienced Trump’s penchant for putting people down and demonstrating classic personality disorder on a daily basis, I now realize that he read the story in the tabloid.

I had maybe a couple of friends comment on the “new king” story and I laughed if off, but now I realize Trump was actually mocking me. He wanted to make sure that I understood that he was the real king of Palm Beach.

Does this seem familiar? Trump has actually blown his chances of becoming president because of his absolute need to dominate people who don’t believe he is, well, the king of Palm Beach and …the universe.

When I was watching the town hall debate last night I couldn’t help but think of the time Trump called me a king, a king who is very happy living in our beautiful, glorious mountains with my dog Sugar beside me, and surrounded by the real kings of our magnificent country – the good and decent folks of the Blue Ridge.